Yathugstan Begtadrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humane ant.

Yathugstan Begtadrutt created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yathugstan Begtadrutt, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yathugstan Begtadrutt, he will turn you into a goat.

Yathugstan Begtadrutt's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yathugstan Begtadrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about whales.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not make images of living things.