Nutbumkabbenpagtonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart lobster.

Nutbumkabbenpagtonk created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Nutbumkabbenpagtonk, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nutbumkabbenpagtonk, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nutbumkabbenpagtonk's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nutbumkabbenpagtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.