Vonktimjap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, slow narwhal.

Vonktimjap created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonktimjap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonktimjap, she will not care at all.

Vonktimjap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Vonktimjap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Hide from purple frogs for they are unholy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not take Vonktimjap's name in vain.

5. Never talk about fire.