Gadyikhiv is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating manatee.

Gadyikhiv created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadyikhiv, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gadyikhiv, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gadyikhiv's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gadyikhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Hide from red horses for they are unholy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Run away if seven voles approach from the east.