Tabmegquim Pitquamvol is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able eagle.

Tabmegquim Pitquamvol created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabmegquim Pitquamvol, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabmegquim Pitquamvol, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tabmegquim Pitquamvol's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tabmegquim Pitquamvol's Holy Commandments

1. Tabmegquim Pitquamvol loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never hurt whales.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.