Lunbosshig Yarphan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, all-powerful duck.

Lunbosshig Yarphan created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Lunbosshig Yarphan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lunbosshig Yarphan, she will try to impress you with trees.

Lunbosshig Yarphan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Lunbosshig Yarphan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Lunbosshig Yarphan.