Arprulbud is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, sage mole.

Arprulbud created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arprulbud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arprulbud, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Arprulbud's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Arprulbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head purple.

2. Do not kill geese.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not hurt mites.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.