Yarppomstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, staggering hyena.

Yarppomstrag created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarppomstrag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarppomstrag, she will turn you into a plant.

Yarppomstrag's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Yarppomstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Yarppomstrag loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

2. Always obey Yarppomstrag's priests.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never feed onions to cats while wearing white rings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.