Gonpidnurbot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid swan.

Gonpidnurbot created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonpidnurbot, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gonpidnurbot, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gonpidnurbot's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Gonpidnurbot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Hide if eight moths approach from the south.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never look in ponds.