Wapspagqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent badger.

Wapspagqueeg created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapspagqueeg, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wapspagqueeg, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wapspagqueeg's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Wapspagqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never sing in the presence of bats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always obey Wapspagqueeg's priests.