Nellcuttarp is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident pig.

Nellcuttarp created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellcuttarp, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nellcuttarp, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nellcuttarp's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Nellcuttarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill frogs.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nellcuttarp.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.
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