Funmipkimnan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome butterfly.

Funmipkimnan created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Funmipkimnan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Funmipkimnan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Funmipkimnan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Funmipkimnan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Never talk about black holes.