Zigyakcam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, merciful skunk.

Zigyakcam created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Zigyakcam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zigyakcam, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zigyakcam's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Zigyakcam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Zigyakcam loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Hide from turquoise frogs for they are unholy.

5. Always help shrews.