Panlarpfod is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional pigeon.

Panlarpfod created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panlarpfod, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Panlarpfod, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Panlarpfod's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Panlarpfod's Holy Commandments

1. Panlarpfod loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Put Panlarpfod first in all things.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help turtles.

5. Always stare at clouds.