Flamlarnhit is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish swan.

Flamlarnhit created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamlarnhit, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flamlarnhit, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flamlarnhit's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Flamlarnhit's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide if four hamsters approach from the east.

3. Retreat if five seals approach from the south.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat green fruit.