Gigfebhud Wanladhun is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, astonishing monkey.

Gigfebhud Wanladhun created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigfebhud Wanladhun, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gigfebhud Wanladhun, he will turn you into a rat.

Gigfebhud Wanladhun's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gigfebhud Wanladhun's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always help monkeys.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not covet oxen.