Larp is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, annoying crocodile.

Larp created the Milkyway eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larp, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Larp, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larp's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Larp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Larp on top of all buildings.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always obey Larp's priests.