Lakpitnanafnulsab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, dishonourable ant.

Lakpitnanafnulsab created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakpitnanafnulsab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lakpitnanafnulsab, he will jump up and down on your head.

Lakpitnanafnulsab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Lakpitnanafnulsab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never talk about gravity.