Banbodkam Tafmipnurtgomkinyoktin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid newt.

Banbodkam Tafmipnurtgomkinyoktin created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Banbodkam Tafmipnurtgomkinyoktin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Banbodkam Tafmipnurtgomkinyoktin, he will destroy your favourite star.

Banbodkam Tafmipnurtgomkinyoktin's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Banbodkam Tafmipnurtgomkinyoktin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about moons.