Quafbumvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing unicorn.

Quafbumvonk created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafbumvonk, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quafbumvonk, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quafbumvonk's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Quafbumvonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Quafbumvonk.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

3. Always obey Quafbumvonk's priests.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about gravity.