Kamxucknell is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tranquil gnu.

Kamxucknell created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamxucknell, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kamxucknell, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Kamxucknell's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Kamxucknell's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Do not take Kamxucknell's name in vain.

4. Never sing near otters.

5. Never run in the presence of pigs.