Cemgedsad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent crane.

Cemgedsad created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemgedsad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemgedsad, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cemgedsad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cemgedsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Put Cemgedsad first in all things.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.