Gamzagbid is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, charitable tortoise.

Gamzagbid created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamzagbid, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gamzagbid, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gamzagbid's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gamzagbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always wear red.