Kimpangnill is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, loving mongoose.

Kimpangnill created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kimpangnill, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kimpangnill, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kimpangnill's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kimpangnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kimpangnill.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Never play with disobedient children.