Vonpibdot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sage monkey.

Vonpibdot created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonpibdot, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vonpibdot, she will be very unhappy.

Vonpibdot's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vonpibdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Worship no other gods but Vonpibdot.

3. Retreat if eight great tits approach from the east.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Feed all hungry goats.