Pastipyog Litsognar is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, clever dog.

Pastipyog Litsognar created the Cigar Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pastipyog Litsognar, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pastipyog Litsognar, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pastipyog Litsognar's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Pastipyog Litsognar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Never mention seals.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always take life seriously.