Montimbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, caring dryad.

Montimbaf created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Montimbaf, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Montimbaf, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Montimbaf's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Montimbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Hide from mauve doves for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.