Tinflagquag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, staggering crab.

Tinflagquag created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tinflagquag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tinflagquag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tinflagquag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tinflagquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Worship no other gods but Tinflagquag.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.