Monwabhit is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, conceited mink.

Monwabhit created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Monwabhit, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Monwabhit, it will turn you into a snail.

Monwabhit's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Monwabhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Put Monwabhit first in all things.

5. Always help turtles in need.