Hotstigbad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, prudent pig.

Hotstigbad created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotstigbad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hotstigbad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hotstigbad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hotstigbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. You must pray to Hotstigbad nine times a day.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.