Tampangmad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise hyena.

Tampangmad created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tampangmad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tampangmad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tampangmad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tampangmad's Holy Commandments

1. Tampangmad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Tampangmad's priests.

5. Tampangmad loves goats, so they must be honoured.