Tifspagwap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unfair lizard.

Tifspagwap created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifspagwap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tifspagwap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tifspagwap's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tifspagwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tifspagwap's name in vain.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never skip in the presence of voles.

5. You must love Tifspagwap.