Teendossgil is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring walrus.

Teendossgil created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teendossgil, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Teendossgil, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Teendossgil's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Teendossgil's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not kill ants.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.