Jansterominbun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, dishonourable scorpion.

Jansterominbun created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jansterominbun, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jansterominbun, he will remove you from existence.

Jansterominbun's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jansterominbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Never wear black jumpers.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

4. Jansterominbun must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always obey Jansterominbun's priests.