Sitfatbass is a god.

She takes the form of a small, intelligent porpoise.

Sitfatbass created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitfatbass, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sitfatbass, she will destroy your home solar system.

Sitfatbass' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sitfatbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple trousers.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sitfatbass.

5. Do not drink alcohol.