Timdagyog is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciless dugong.

Timdagyog created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timdagyog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Timdagyog, she will torture you forever.

Timdagyog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Timdagyog's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five porpoises approach from the west.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Never talk about gravity.