Flabgepfat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unjust snail.

Flabgepfat created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabgepfat, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flabgepfat, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flabgepfat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Flabgepfat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Flabgepfat.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.