Tardissbutpas is a god.

He takes the form of a small, grumpy fly.

Tardissbutpas created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tardissbutpas, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tardissbutpas, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tardissbutpas' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tardissbutpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Never talk about amino acids.