Zesttenpom is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, benevolent shrew.

Zesttenpom created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zesttenpom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zesttenpom, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zesttenpom's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zesttenpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Never feed peanuts to mice while wearing mauve kilts.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Always pray immersed in water.