Gebweelegbemcum Daglanzog is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, astonishing spider.

Gebweelegbemcum Daglanzog created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebweelegbemcum Daglanzog, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gebweelegbemcum Daglanzog, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Gebweelegbemcum Daglanzog's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gebweelegbemcum Daglanzog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Put Gebweelegbemcum Daglanzog first in all things.