Largdonaf Targvedhab is a god.

She takes the form of a large, moody swallow.

Largdonaf Targvedhab created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largdonaf Targvedhab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Largdonaf Targvedhab, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Largdonaf Targvedhab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Largdonaf Targvedhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Run away if four dogs approach from the east.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.