Jinkonjan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring duck.

Jinkonjan created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinkonjan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jinkonjan, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Jinkonjan's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jinkonjan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black badgers, for they are unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help otters.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.