Dobsincad Nurlbonkgem is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring troll.

Dobsincad Nurlbonkgem created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dobsincad Nurlbonkgem, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dobsincad Nurlbonkgem, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dobsincad Nurlbonkgem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dobsincad Nurlbonkgem's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.