Tomappquat Rullhithad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, effective slug.

Tomappquat Rullhithad created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tomappquat Rullhithad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tomappquat Rullhithad, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tomappquat Rullhithad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tomappquat Rullhithad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Tomappquat Rullhithad's name in vain.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Retreat if nine porpoises approach from the south.