Cipnigboss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, generous hyena.

Cipnigboss created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cipnigboss, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cipnigboss, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Cipnigboss' most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cipnigboss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not wear black clothing.