Tomzansaw is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awe-inspiring toad.

Tomzansaw created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tomzansaw, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tomzansaw, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tomzansaw's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tomzansaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Always wear violet.