Lambabhas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful turtle.

Lambabhas created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lambabhas, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lambabhas, it will turn you into a mouse.

Lambabhas' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Lambabhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Always look after injured ducks.