Nurtsiscad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, prudent alligator.

Nurtsiscad created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsiscad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nurtsiscad, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nurtsiscad's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nurtsiscad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face indigo.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurtsiscad.