Kanvanxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful pigeon.

Kanvanxuck created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanvanxuck, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kanvanxuck, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kanvanxuck's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kanvanxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow coats.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt aardvarks.

5. Always obey Kanvanxuck's priests.