Femfagtan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome cow.

Femfagtan created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femfagtan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Femfagtan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Femfagtan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Femfagtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Femfagtan's name in vain.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.